It’s a couple lines of code. If you didn’t want it in code-behind, I sure it could be packaged in a attached behaviour.
private void Button_Click(object sender, RoutedEventArgs e)
{
MainListBox.SelectedItem = MainListBox.Items[3];
MainListBox.UpdateLayout(); // Pre-generates item containers
var listBoxItem = (ListBoxItem) MainListBox
.ItemContainerGenerator
.ContainerFromItem(MainListBox.SelectedItem);
listBoxItem.Focus();
}